Everyday Phrases That Come From Medieval Times (Part 1) By Sir Percy

By Sir Percy (as transcribed, against his better judgement, by Chris Livemore)

So, clodpoles, I have been asked to write something for the blog - I am not entirely sure what that means but I was told it was important so I have bravely volunteered to contribute my knowledge once again. You are most welcome.

The topic I have been asked to cover is modern phrases that originated in the medieval period. I have extensive experience of this. I was very much a part of the medieval period. I have views on all of them, mostly unfavourable, which is consistent with my views on most things.

Now pay attention. I will not be repeating myself. Drumroll if you will...

'Freelance'

A "freelance" was a mercenary knight. A warrior with no lord and no allegiance, who took his lance and his horse and his skills to whoever paid the most money for them. Knights with no particular allegiance were free to offer their lance, their military support, to whoever paid the most for their services, operating much like the gunfighters of the American West.

This is, in theory, a dishonourable arrangement. In practice, most of the freelances I encountered during my career were extremely good at what they did. They were not sentimental. They were not loyal. They were, however, punctual, which is more than can be said for approximately everyone currently resident in this castle.

Jack refers to himself as "freelance" on the days when I have assigned him duties he would prefer not to do, like cleaning the castle's latrines. Last Thursday he informed me he was "freelance until further notice" and rode off in the direction of the forest.

He returned at teatime covered in mud and apparently delighted with himself.

'Crocodile Tears'

The phrase derives from a medieval belief that crocodiles shed tears of sadness while they killed and consumed their prey. The myth dates back as far as the 14th century and comes from a book called The Travels of Sir John Mandeville, which described crocodiles as creatures that "sley men, and eate them weeping." Absolutely lovely creatures.

Medieval naturalists observed crocodile tears and drew the most dramatic possible conclusion. They were wrong about why crocodiles cry, but they were not wrong that crying while simultaneously causing significant inconvenience is a recognisable and extremely frustrating behaviour pattern.

Sir Henry produces crocodile tears approximately four times a week, which coincidentally is the number of times I speak with him. Hmmmm...

Last Tuesday he Sir Henry broke some of the castle's fine china, accidentally, he claims, and I will give him the benefit of the doubt on this occasion, and then sat in the courtyard weeping enormous tears about it while Jack patted him on the head and said "there, there." By the time anyone had addressed the provisions situation, Sir Henry had cheered up completely and was asking about lunch.

I do not have strong feelings about crocodiles. I have very strong feelings about knights who cry and then immediately request a meal.

'Apple of My Eye'

The earliest appearance of the term "apple of my eye" is found in a ninth-century Old English translation of the Cura Pastoralis attributed to Alfred the Great. Originally it referred to the pupil of the eye, considered one of the most delicate and precious parts of the body. Calling someone the apple of your eye meant they were cherished above almost anything. I am the apple of a lot of people's eyes. It is one of the perks of being in charge of the castle I guess.

Alfred the Great coined this phrase. Alfred the Great also burned some cakes and had complicated feelings about Vikings. He was a busy man and I have considerable sympathy for him. I am not going to discuss whether I use this phrase. It is not relevant to the topic at hand.

What I will say is that if, occasionally, in private, a knight commander of significant experience and impeccable professional standards were to look at a small but irritatingly brave young knight and his frankly unreasonable dragon and think something along the lines of, if I will say it, a phrase that Alfred the Great made famous in the ninth century. That would be entirely his own business.

And if anyone repeats this, I will deny it completely.

'Sink or Swim'

In medieval societies, a different way of determining innocence or guilt was used, the trial by ordeal. In European societies during the Middle Ages, a concept known as the iudicium Dei, the judgement of God (cripes), was the basis for the trial by ordeal, with the belief that God would intervene and protect an innocent person whilst punishing a guilty one.

A person accused of a crime would be dragged to the nearest body of water, bound, and tossed into the water. The logic was that water would reject the guilty, causing them to float, whilst an innocent person would sink. Now that is how justice was served, if you were innocent your drowned.

'Stark Raving Mad'

The word "stark" comes from an Old English word meaning stiff or strong, and was commonly used in the Middle Ages to intensify descriptions. The term "stark mad" emerges by the 14th century. Meanwhile, the word "raving" originates from the Latin rabidus, meaning to be mad or to rave, and was later incorporated into the phrase for additional emphasis.

Two medieval intensifiers. Stacked deliberately on top of each other. Designed to describe a state of complete and comprehensive mental unravelling. I would like to state, for the record, that I am not stark raving mad.

I am, however, a knight commander who has spent the last several years managing a castle that contains: one small knight who approaches quests with what I can only describe as cheerful recklessness, one dragon of considerable enthusiasm and no spatial awareness, one princess who has on three separate occasions reorganised the castle's defensive formations without consulting me, and one blog that apparently now requires my direct personal involvement.

I am not stark raving mad. I am, however, extremely tired. There is a difference. It is, admittedly, becoming smaller.

My final thought (take notes)

These phrases have survived for several hundred years because they describe things that are true, about human nature, about the experience of being alive, about how people have always felt when someone they are responsible for does something extraordinary and exhausting simultaneously.

Language, I have come to understand, is the medieval period's most effective legacy. Not the castles, many of those have fallen down. Not the armour, most of it is now in museums where people look at it and say "goodness, it's smaller than you'd expect."

But the words. The words persist. And they always will.

Somewhere in modern English, the medieval world is still talking. I find that, against my better judgement, rather moving.

Do not tell Jack I said that and definitely do not scribe that. He will be insufferably pleased about it and I have had quite enough for one day. But have no fear I shall continue to contribute to this weasly blog.

— Sir Percy, Knight of the Realm, written under partial duress.

Join Jack's Shield Wall, the free Good Knight newsletter, at thegoodknightbook.com/shield-wall. New members this month receive a free Guide to Medieval Insults. Sir Percy has reviewed the guide and considers it adequate. This is, from Sir Percy, extremely high praise. 🏰⚔️